On Thursday morning, the world’s high quality replica watches media was flown en masse to Munich.
The travel agent: Patek Philippe. The destination: Patek Philippe’s German HQ. The purpose: Patek Philippe, the world’s most important high-end watchmaker, was releasing its first new top Swiss fake watches collection in 25 years. (I was busy that day anyway, Patek. No hard feelings!)
The pre-release hype for what had been called “undoubtedly the biggest watch event of the year” began a week earlier, but possibly not in the way that Patek had hoped.
The AAA online copy watches was leaked, via a reassuringly analogue source – a magazine advert, in this case in Fortune, the artwork for which had been supplied ahead of time, to be printed post-launch.
A similar fate had befallen the iPhone 4 in 2010, when it was unveiled early by a British print ad by Vodafone. Also, Sony’s PlayStation Portable console in 2009, leaked via PlayStation’s own magazine (awkward). And the 2015 game Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the box for which appeared in Argos catalogues before Warner Bros. had got as far as typing up the press release.
Perfect replica Patek Philippe’s leaked watches was called the Cubitus, an outsized square-d design that looked like a pumped-up version of Nautilus 5711 the brand had discontinued in 2021, with a lot of stuff on the dial – big date, moonphase, etc – arranged in a manner that was less “artfully asymmetric” and more “ouch, my eyes”.
It was such an peculiar looking thing for a brand defined by its elegant restraint and good taste, people couldn’t quite believe it was real.
Perhaps it wasn’t.
Could it be a decoy from the actual launch? Was AI somehow involved? Was Deepfake?
It looked modern, at least, but seen next to Patek’s seminal 1996 “Generations” advertising copy “You never actually own a Patek Philippe…” etc in the Fortune leak it seemed to confirm the idea that the whole thing was some kind of niche joke.
Well, it turned out to be real.
Still, the launch bought better news.
The collection comprised three luxury fake watches – the leaked model, revealed as the platinum Cubitus Grande Date – to my mind being by far the least attractive of the trio.
The others, two time and date models, one in steel with a classic Patek green dial, and one in blue in rose gold and steel, were far easier on the eye.
But boy were they big – 45mm is a big ask in world where even the king-of-the-chunk Panerai has been creeping down towards sub-40mm sizing.
Also: expensive!
Rumour was that the Swiss movements replica Patek Philippe Cubitus collection watches would be a relatively more affordable entry into the Patek family, something to appeal to a new generation (who could merely look after it, etc etc). But the Cubitus family is priced between £33,600 for the steel version and £76,000 for the platinum variant with all the extra dial complications. (Patek’s Aquanaut starts at around £27,000; its Calatrava begins around £25,000.)
Obviously, it doesn’t matter what we think (I haven’t seen the cheap super clone watches UK because I wasn’t there, did I mention that?). With Patek’s waiting lists the thing is a guaranteed sell-out anyway (it launched the day of the event).
Still that hasn’t stopped gripers from comparing the Cubitus to the Maen Manhattan, or even (ouch) the Apple Watch Ultra. But, again, so what?
The reality will almost certainly align more closely with what once commentator added below-the-line somewhere:
“Everyone is saying it [sic] ugly and wrong yet it will be the next big thing in 10-15 years…
“That is always the first clue! Does everyone hate it?”
